Monday, November 3, 2008 at 10:09AM
Dwight “Sausage” McGraw in US politics, elections
Obama wins 380 electoral votes, picking up all the western toss-ups including Arizona, Montana and North Dakota. Popular vote margin is 9%. Senate yields eight new Democratic seats; House 31 seats. One Democratic gubernatorial pickup, in Missouri. Sadly, Mitch McConnell remains a senator.
Media call it historic victory for racial symbolism and pragmatic centrism.
Media spend a few enjoyable weeks autopsying the Republican party.
Republicans spend a few enjoyable weeks attacking each other over who sank the Titanic and who needs to step aside.
Every person who thinks the election was really about them and their demographic calls it a victory for them and their demographic. This will be especially grating coming from the baby boomer left, which call it the culmination of their Sixties dream.
McCain congratulates the victor and pretends he ran an honorable campaign.
Republican loyalists attack McCain for same pretense.
Obama calls for unity, nominates highly placed Republican for cabinet: For example, Nebraska’s Chuck Hagel as Secretary of Defense. A smarter pick would be one of Maine’s two Republican senators, Snowe or Collins, allowing a Democratic governor to replace her with a Democratic Senator. Also makes symbolic reconciliation gesture by vowing no investigations of Bush administration law-breakers.
Now-former McCain campaign staffers set up “The Real Obama Research Center” devoted to drafting articles of impeachment.
GWB makes perfunctory congratulations speech, and starts to lay legislative land mines that will prevent the incoming Democratic admistration from accomplishing anything.
Dick Cheney has a fatal heart attack while strangling reporter who asks if his endorsement of McCain threw the election to Obama.
Dwight McGraw and his sausage posse whoop it up tomorrow night.
Same group becomes gradually disillusioned as hangover sets in and inherent centrism of Democratic party manifests; spends much of the next four years reminding selves that this is “better than Bush.”
Article originally appeared on the citizen-viewer (http://garella.squarespace.com/).
See website for complete article licensing information.