the citizen-viewer

Ok, ready to live-blog the chinless wonder. Can feel the loathing. Will Republicans get as sick of him as Dems have become? That’s bipartianship. Will he make Zell Miller look good by comparison? The expectations are high.

— Members of a larger American family, we’re all Americans. Audience already getting pissed as they are the only Americans. Applause weakening. Joe mentioning problems. What problems? Enemies abroad, whew! Had them worried there, talking about the little people’s finances.

— The Founder and “senseless partisanship.” History Prof Joe. Bitter partisanship is not what they would have wanted. Uh, Joe you’re speaking to the party of “positive polarization” (to quote Nixon Attorney General John Mitchell).

— Big whoop for country over party. Listen close and the Alaska Indep. Party is booing.

— Lieberman’s voice hasn’t improved. Sounds mush-mouthed and exhausted no matter what the time or place.

— One guy in the audience is yelling out “yeahhh, yes!” in orgasmic fashion. Now seeing lone set of keys fly up on stage along with a pair of size 44 boxers.

— Johnny Mac stands above party. Said to party of Bush; i.e. loyalty above all else.

— “Take off those blinders,” and the hurricane again—hey, doofus, hurricanes are not what Repubs are proud of. You’re walking the line with anti-Repub innuendo. Fortunately it’s subliminal and no one’s getting it.

— This is not exactly a tub thumper. Camera pans empty seats. Lieberman testifying to McCain’s legisative prowess. Boring the pants off everyone. Lone hand reaches on stage, grabs undies and keys and takes them back.

— Ooohh, Joe’s going to reveal secret Democratic love for Johnny boy. Talking to us now. Don’t be fooled, trust Joe. John’s his own man.

— Red light, siren, warning. Mentioning Republican scandals. Silence, crickets. Global warming, hey, you’re gonna swig from an oil mug for that.

— Praising Obama, first to do so in my watch. Back to old saw of he’s too slick, we need a slack-jawed bore instead. Now bashing Obama’s record. Powerful interest groups in the Dem party vs. McCain’s independence. Oceania has always been at war with Eurasia.

— Now praising Clinton, got some weak applause which I think were produced by Rove-ites with bayonets pointing at the crowd’s back.

— Lieberman on Palin: She’s like Johnny because she fights the special interests and is bipartisan. It’s all bs but it’s the story that Joe is here to tell.

— Throughout we get Joe’s smug, self-satisfied expressions. He never understood that Republicans don’t like anyone who thinks he’s smarter or cuter than they are, and Joe does.

— I’m surprised Joe isn’t going after the neo-con foreign policy agenda.

— Wants unity, oh here it comes. Nation at war. McCain as Iraq whistle blower.

— Blatant lies on Obama as cutting money to troops. Lying is useful here. The surge is in your [Dwight censored by the cit-viewer here. Down, Sausage, down boy!]

— Wait, other countries like McCain. Didn’t Freddie bash Obama for being well-liked abroad? Consistency is for the other side.

— To the independents, the undecideds. Those who never voted Republican, they won’t this year.

— The “yeahhh” guy is back. Joe’s looking better. GHWBush is sleepy. The independents turned off the set ten minutes ago, if they ever had it on.

— Are you gonna vote for the person, or the party? This is Obama, right?

— Thank goodness. It’s over. Joe reminds the Dems watching why he tanked in ‘04.

— Joe turned off the audience. They had the high point when Fred Thompson ripped the caricature of the Dems. Listening to Lieberman was like taking castor oil for the delegates.

The theme for the night was threefold: McCain is a hero; Obama stinks; McCain is not a partisan Republican. The problem of course, it’s the Republican convention and there were too many hints of partisanship in Thompson’s speech and the audience interplay with Big Joe to make the sale.